Fully Operational

October 8, 2012

Reason # ______ Why the Knicks are Ridiculous

By J. Goodman

The Knicks recently signed recently-retired power forward/center Rasheed Wallace. ‘Sheed to his friends. This is going to end badly.

You see, ‘Sheed is old. ‘Sheed is also a cancer in the same way Terrell Owens was a cancer and Randy Moss became a cancer. There are certain players who play for themselves, they play for the straight cash homie. They are talented so people listen to them. They are loud and opinionated so people listen to them. They are derisive and play by their own rules. That’s where the problems creep in.

August 31, 2012

League Auditions: The Brooklyn Nets

By Dre Rivas

Dre Rivas is a Knick fan just looking for another team to follow; a team that will act as a refuge from all the negativity the James Dolan era has inflicted upon the Knick fan base - a distraction, if you will, from the constant reminder of what this New York Knicks team could have been, and what it actually is.

I’m a Yankee fan. And for many Yankee fans, it means you grow up hating the Mets. When I lived in the Bronx, the Mets were the enemy. And the Mets were good. They had Doc Gooden. And Daryl Strawberry. And they hadn’t thrown away their careers yet. They won a World Series, which was pretty awful. But it could have been worse; it could have been three.

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August 23, 2012

League Auditions: The Kings and Trailblazers

By Dre Rivas

Last week’s contenders: The Magic and the Jazz

This week’s contenders: The Kings and Trailblazers. Let’s do this.

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July 31, 2012

League Auditions: The Hawks and Pistons

By Dre Rivas

Last week I discussed the state of Knicks fandom and how – despite my desire – I can’t leave the orange and blue behind. It’s kind of like being stuck in a god-awful marriage but being told if you leave, you can never see your kids again and will be a financial slave to the hell-bitch you used to share a bed with. So you stick with the Knicks through the James Dolan reign. You stick with the hell-bitch.

July 19, 2012

League Auditions: Filling the Void After Lin

By Dre Rivas

I’ve been quiet on the whole Jeremy Lin saga, (at least on Fully Operational. On Facebook and Twitter I’ve acted like the drunk guy in the bar the other patrons pretend not to listen to), mostly because J. Goodman has already contributed to the subject nicely, essentially mirroring my feelings about the whole saga. Yes, Linsanity has been buried under the hubris of an NBA owner that (as Max Kellerman - quoting Barry Switzer - said yesterday on ESPN) “was born on third base, and thought he hit a triple”. James Dolan, this owner, this small, sad and petulant child, has done more to damage the New York Knicks brand than Bernie Madoff has with Madoff Investment Securities.

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July 17, 2012

Rockets’ Red Glare

By J. Goodman

See what I did there. Lin is going to the Rockets. The Houston Rockets’ colors are red. China’s color is red [Ed. note: He’s Taiwanese]. Glare? It’s less of a glare, and more of a boozy glassiness.

We all saw it coming.

People will say what they want.

But every Knick fan I know is deep into considering becoming a Brooklyn Nets fan. The Nets have the ‘Hump’ (Kris Humprhies) or Kris Homefries, if you prefer [Ed. note: I don’t]. Who do the Knicks have that’s as cool as the Hump? Well, Novak-aine is pretty cool.

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July 12, 2012

The Black Mamba is ‘Dream’ing

Kobe Bryant has drawn some heat for his recent comments about his current Olympic basketball team. Basically, he thinks this 2012 USA team would beat the original 1992 Dream Team. We discuss.

Dre: Bryant was careful to point out he was considering the age of the team in this assessment. In other words, he isn’t saying the 2012 team has better players, just that the greatest players in the 2012 team are in their prime. It makes this more of a compelling topic because if we were talking strictly about the players - and not the players at that particular time in their careers - this wouldn’t even be close.

But the fact remains Magic was passed his prime. Bird was past his prime. What are your thoughts?

July 9, 2012

Et tu, Ray?

By Lawrence Lyman

Rarely do my wife and I actually get a night out and when we do we like to pretend that we don’t have a 21 month old baby. That means getting dressed up in actual going-out attire rather than baby-proof clothing. Baby-proof clothing grows up with your child. First, all you needed was a burp cloth. Now I’m at the stage where my son wants to show me his arm strength by throwing every piece of food or utensil as hard and as fast as he can, which ends up all my shirt. I basically walk around in a tarp. For date night, I put on a blazer, my wife wore heels, and out we went.

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July 6, 2012

Linners and Kidders

By J. Goodman

After Lawrence’s article on Winners and Losers was posted, the New York Knicks signed Jason Kidd (3 years, $9 million) and Jeremy Lin is prepared to sign a 4 year, $29 million offer sheet from the Houston Rockets. As a Knicks fan, I actually care about these pending moves. When and where Dwight Howard completes his final act of backstabbing the city of Orlando doesn’t matter to me. It will send the sports world atwitter, but my world will remain atwitter free.

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July 5, 2012

NBA Winners and Losers: Offseason Edition

By Lawrence Lyman

The Heat have won the 2011-12 title, but none of that matters anymore. That’s old news. It’s all about next year and free agency is already heating up (damn you Heat and your heat-related puns!). None of these deals are official until July 11^th, but, let’s face it, these are all going to happen. Time to weigh in on the winners and losers.

June 25, 2012

How to Stop Sucking as a Fanbase: 5 Rules to Guide Miami Heat Fans

By Dre Rivas

Lebron James has delivered in a big way, for both his team and his legacy. Sincere congrats to Lebron for winning his first championship. I never thought I would find myself actually rooting for him but there was a part of me that couldn’t hold it back in the end. Despite his mistakes, he’s a good guy and now we may be entering into an even more impressive era for this special player. I’m buckled in for the ride.

Now let’s get down to business.

June 21, 2012

Gary Oldman Is An Actor

Dre: I laughed out loud watching this. A lot of times you watch a “funny” video online and you think, “Ha, this is funny,” but you aren’t laughing. You just find it amusing. This I thought was pretty funny. And it works because Oldman goes ALL IN here. I also appreciated this video because it’s one of the rare times outside of interviews that you get to hear Oldman’s real voice which is a lot more higher-pitched and nasally than you’d expect. Even when he does a British accent it’s almost never his British accent. Speaking of, is there anyone better at accents than this guy? Maybe Meryl Streep. With Russell Crowe riding shotgun. I leave anyone out?

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June 15, 2012

Stern Concern

By Lawrence Lyman

Getting old isn’t fun for a lot of reasons. One reason is that you can’t function on little sleep. It’s a vicious cycle. You need your rest, but since you were out late, you don’t get it. Thankfully some scientists have proven that being tired causes your body to want to eat bad food. Thanks, scientists.

I went to a Rays game and had ‘beverages’. Sluggish and tired, on my way home, I decided to drive to McDonald’s when six minutes of radio confirmed what I have known to be true: David Stern needs to retire for the health of the NBA because he’s getting really, really tired.

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June 7, 2012

Waiting for Lebron

By Lawrence Lyman

How many mornings do you wake up excited? For most of us, they are rare. We are at work five days a week. My son doesn’t sleep in past 7 am. If I’m out with friends reliving my 20’s, the next morning I have a massive headache accompanied by a chorus of ‘Maybe that fifth Crown and Ginger wasn’t such a good idea’ ringing in my ears.

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June 1, 2012

Double Dribble, Part 2: Thunder & Heat

By Lawrence Lyman

Let me tell you about my best friend…

In July, I will have been married for six years. If you learn anything from this blog, learn this: marry your best friend. You will spend all of your free time with them. All those nights you spend watching Die Hard re-runs on AMC will turn into cuddle time on the couch agreeing that ‘OMG Courtney is such a bitch! How did he not pick Lindzi!’ [Ed. note: apparently these are people on some broadcast television show called, The Bachelor] Thankfully for me my wife likes sports, reads her US Weekly when Die Hard is on, and is my best friend.

I wrote about the fortunes of the old guard remaining in the playoffs, the Spurs and Celtics. The Heat and Thunder are defined by the relationship of their two best players. One marriage was arranged through ping pong balls and luck and may not last much longer. The other is the marriage of two best friends that could rule over the NBA for years to come.

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